Sleeping scared

I sleep on my right side because I used to be scared out of my mind that some crazy, superstrong, giant robber guy was gonna come through the window on the right side of my bed! I used to drive myself crazy(er) trying to lie on my back to watch the door on my left, the window in front and me AND the window on my right... I finally negotiated with myself that if I slept on my right side, I could look in the mirrored chest of drawers next to the window to see the door behind me while also being able to keep an eye on my right side window... It took a few more years of sleeping scared to realize that even if someone DID break into the window across the room (The one I was still paranoid about), the would not only wake me up by coming through the extremely old and creaky window BUT they would make sure that I was awake by tripping over the massive amounts of junk on my floor and making insane amounts of noise!
I now rest worry-free and I won't wake up even if there's a tornado outside!!
This has been a moment in bed with Dan. Sleep tight! Don't let the superstrong giant robber guys bite!
Dan the Man

Piano Vlog

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSxUhAemwIk&feature=youtu.be

Enjoy my first and extremely awkwardly edited Vlog post :)
If you like it, there will be many more to come!!
Dan the Man

Cooking Shows

I absolutely hate doing "So today..." posts but I'm an sorry to inform you that today, its all I got bruh! Enjoy
So today I had two pretty easy final exams and I'm glad to be home at 1:10 in the afternoon to relax and "Study." Right now I'm getting ready to bake cookies for... not really sure what for! But they're gonna be amazing cus I bought them from my choir fundraiser! ahhhh!! As I write this and prepare my cookies, I'm watching "The Chew" because I'm hungry and thats just making me hungryER.... I could eat a walrus!! Oh wow... there was a Betty Crocker sugar cookie commercial with all the ingredients doing that stacking doll thing! I love that!! Did anyone ever have one of those things... the tiny little microwave whatchamacallits... thingymajiggers... whoopdeedoos.... EASY BAKE OVEN!!! for some reason I always kinda wanted to bake when I was a kid.. but I was kinda afraid that my parents would think I was weird... but I make jewelry so... too late now!!
Speaking of jewelry! I sold a freakin awesome pair of earrings today! I charged the girl $6 BUT she gave me $7 instead!!!! I was so overjoyed!! Now I can buy another piece of crap to put on another pair of earrings! Whoop!! deedoo..... By the way, if anyone wants any jewelry you should let me know! But most of the people who read this already have at least one thing of mine....hmmm... Advertise! Gracias

Well I don't have a whole lot more to say, gotta get the cookies before they burn!!!
Art can't be taught, it is felt in the soul and created by the hands
Dan the Man
PS this post is dedicated to Sydney Periwinkle Lucy Consalvi

A Story From Long Ago

A great big HELLO to my loving readers! Merry 19 days til Christmas! Actually.. its closer to 18 but its only 4:50 as I start writing this post... But anyway! I have a story from the middle of summer that I have decided to share with you! Its not impressive in any way, shape or form but I think that you deserve a post of some sort seeing as I haven't "graced you" with my written presence in... a while.. So I hope you enjoy my story beginning but I don't expect anything! Hopefully More to come,

Dan the Man

Marc and the Camero

I

He flicked the old rag, once, twice, half expecting something magical or extraordinary to appear before him. He mumbled random incantations. Incubus rationalus. Berco tiendan. Then finally ABRACADABRA!  Still… nothing. Disappointed, he folded the battered piece of cloth and put it away in his wooden box of magic tricks.

            Marc was a typical teenager, he hung out with friends, had hobbies and did well in school. At least that’s what his parents thought. In reality, this was far from the truth. Marc did NOT have friends, at least not close ones, he did NOT have “hobbies” and he definitely did NOT do well in school but his parents didn’t care enough to notice. They were always traveling from one place to another. Africa, Siberia, Portugal, Italy. They never really stayed in once place for more than a few months. Marc, on the other hand, had lived with his unruly Uncle Jake in Moose River, Maine for his 15 years of existence.

            Moose River was a small town. It never had more than 300 people living there and was usually pretty quiet. Anything out of the ordinary was big news like when “little” Carrie got bitten by a snake and had to be rushed to the hospital or when Mr. O’Reilly lost control of his tractor and plowed his neighbor’s front lawn. But there was always one person who could be counted on to make a disturbance just as things were starting to settle down. That one person was Marc Stanziano.

            Marc hardly ever went to school anymore but instead he toyed around in the garage while Uncle Jake was at work. They had found an old broken down Camaro and were trying to fix it up. Sadly, high quality car parts were hard to find in such a small town, so they had to be ordered and shipped in. So far they had almost nothing done other than replacing the old engine which was still quite a feat, but they wanted to finish the job.

Then one day while Marc and Uncle Jake were working in the garage, something strange happened. Every day Marc practiced his magic tricks. He had gotten pretty good in the last 3 years but he still wasn’t satisfied. He wanted real magic. But on this particular rainy day he felt something strange and different but when he had tried to start the car by waving his “magic cloth” and saying incantations, nothing had happened. But something HAD changed. Uncle Jake had an odd look on his face, almost dreamy, and when Marc asked him what was wrong he replied “I have an idea… Lets try and start this baby!” Surprised but intrigued, Marc walked over to the passenger’s seat and got in. It still smelled like old shoes and mud. That would have to change. Jake got in and stuck a rusty screwdriver into the ignition and turned.

II

The car made an ugly noise, almost like the noise made by a sick person clearing their throat; guttural and choppy.   (Amaze me... write something you think deserves to be in chapter II! And email it to Djsman72795@yahoo.com  Always thankful for feedback of any sort!)

Imaginary numbers

I don't understand imaginary numbers! What the heck does i plus i equal??? is in inequal or equal? what is is-quared?? and seriously pi... be rational!! and  i... get real ;)
I've just been betrayed by my amigas... they SAID they were gonna go eat frootloops BUT NOOO they had to go upload like 170000 pictures of me being ugly as sin on skype... This has been a moment of intimacy with Dan...
I've taken the time to compose a list of "Things about me you should know" (if you care or if you don't):

I don't have any Kleenex in my room so I use toilet paper..
I make jewelry but I'm straight (go figure!)
I have a TON of crap in my room
I have a TON of crap in my locker
I have a TON of crap in my closet
I automatically love any team from Cleveland Ohio... yeah they all suck
I'm adopted and a lotta people don't know so I'm puttin that out there!
I'm in LC Chamber choir, we kick Bass
I've been playing guitar for 3 years and I won't stop even if I break all my fingers
I live in Kentucky but I'm not a redneck, blue collar, hillbilly or hick
I don't have a lot of friends but the ones I do have are more important to me than anything else in the world

So thats about all I've got to say tonight!! Shout out to the ASQ "foundation" cus they rock and they make up 80% of my avid readers...

This has been a moment in the shower with,
Dan the Man

Lie to me

They call me the TV minus the vision. I'm just Tele! Its been such a long time since I made a post... at least it feels like it! But I'm not gonna check how long ago because that's depressing... (someone will tell me anyways)... so this weeks headlines... knights won the football game 44-7... now its on to Boyle Co... and we really really need to win this game!!!! Or its all over........... PAIN!! SORROW!!! JOYFULN- just kidding... other news: I brought my cute, adorable bonsai tree inside so it wouldn't DIE! How is a tree adorable you might ask...? well my friends! It is tiny and that is how it is adorable!

Someone told me I should put
more
space
between
my
thoughts.....
So now I'm going to make more paragraphs and fewer of those gigantic spaceship things that carry all of my nonsensical nonsense into you spacious brains AKA... MEGAPARAGRAPHS!!!

Now I know many of you might be wondering why the title of this post is "Lie to me" Well its deffinitely not an invitation for you to not tell me the truth! Its actually because I'm obsessed with this new show called... wait for it.... 'lie to me'!! It kicks some serious tush! There is a group of 4 investigators that work together to read people's facial expressions to find out the truth even when people are lying to them! actually... its especially when people are lying to them... Anyway! you should all check it out! its on netflix and its a great show!

Remember folks! Honesty is the best policy!
Dan the Man

Ps happy now???

I Love My Friends...

My friends are the kind of people that consider themselves "weird." My friends take pride in their extensive collections of buttons, pokemon cards and games and, of course, their off-the-wall Halloween costumes. My friends are the kind of people who don't mind that the "popular" kids don't like them. They don't need 3 tons of makeup and a short skirt to feel like they look okay! Heck! My friends are better than the popular kids! They don't need drama to survive or alcohol to look cool; they just need some cookies and a few friends and its party time! I love my friends because they respect me and all my quirks even when I'm not in a good mood! My friends don't mind if I forget what I'm talking about or stutter, they brush it off and we always end up laughing about something crazy and making inside jokes (exploring, jolly ranchers and too much pasta) that you wouldn't get unless you're one of my friends, and you probably are if you're reading this... I love my friends because they are always there when I have a bad day or I fail a test or when I break up with a girl for the 4th time! They religiously follow my blog and sometimes hang on to every word like its the last hershey's bar in the candy bowl. If I was arrested, my friends would be the ones to come and laugh at me for a few hours, tempt me with food and THEN ask for my bank account number to go get money to bail me out! My friends are tall, short, skinny and husky (marshmellow) and I love them for every time they make me laugh and  for the endless supply of hugs. My friends aren't afraid to sing and act in front of people! They're not afraid to start a band with me or write music, even if its just about something random. They love me for my Jolly Rancher filled pockets and hopefully a few other things! I hope to always have my friends around to tease and laugh with and make inside jokes with.

I love you all a lot!
Dan the Man

Drive-thru Betting

Monday night's post was bitter, at least from my perspective, and I'm sorry that I had to force my sadness onto you, my lovely and happy readers. I hope that will be one of VERY few posts of such a sad nature so, starting next week, I will add a new segment to my blog! (or four..) But I'm not sure what to name it... Misssspelluled wurds Mondai? (Eye Noah Leik Dis Blahg) TERRIBLE TUESDAY? (sounds painful) Weird Wonders Wednesday? (oOoOOo beware) Thinking of something to say... Thursday? (but seriously...) Food for thought Friday? (mmmm! food!) Satire Sunday? (Have to find something FUNNY) Sarcastic Sunday? (Like that'll happen)
So people of the interweb- Give me some feedback for once and I'll make sure not to disappoint!!
Other exciting things coming up... I'll give in depth, behind-the-scenes info about the new band!!

Now, on to my rant... Drive-Thru betting... Whoever thought that up must've been a scamming genious! Just think about it for a second.... Okay theres your second! So, basically the process of drive-thru betting is: the better (who sadly is normally WORSE off after the the transaction) drives up to the betting window, puts down his money and says the name of a horse. This step is summarized as "Heres my money, I'm gonna go sit in my car and pray that my luck holds and my 100-1 odds come through so I make a little money instead of throwing it down the gutter like every opposing better (who will then be a worser.. Right?)


You don't waste a whole lotta gas when you ACTUALLY COME IN TO KEENELAND!! Because, of course, if you're one of those people (like my dad) that thinks its a good idea to drive in circles wasting all of your gas, you might just get lucky! Then you go to the bookie and wait, sitting on your buttox, for the bookie to give you the right amount of cash which just happens to be the exact amount needed to pay for all the gas you've wasted driving in cirlces!
I know none of this makes sense... I don't mind and I hope you don't either. It will get better, I promise!
Dan the Man

Passing of a Dear Friend

Tonight I have bad news and a sad story. Tonight, my confirmation sponsor and lifelong friend, Mr. Tony Modica passed away. He was a firefighter, and a loving friend and husband. He was in his late sixties and he had an accident and fell off a ladder. He will be sorely missed by me, my parents, our parish, and all those whose lives he has touched. Mr. Modica was like a grandfather to me and he was there for me since 2nd grade when he and his wife were my First Communion prayer pals. One time I was doing alter server duties during a school mass and suddenly my nose started gushing blood! There was nothing I could do to stop it! But then Mr. Modica came and gave me his handkerchief and helped me stop the bleeding. That was one of the most eventful Masses I've ever been part of! After his wife died, he bought a beautiful blue Ford truck and he was so proud of it. Never could see a scratch or a mark on it anywhere! A few weeks after I had asked him to be my Confirmation sponsor, Mr. Modica broke his wrist and he was unable to be at the Confirmation Mass but he was "there in spirit" and I was just fine with that! Now that he's gone, I wish that I had been able to spend just a little bit more time with him. That happens when people die... you wish you could have had just a few more moments of happiness with them. I will never forget you.
Rest in Peace Tony Modica

Daniel Sedlacek

Kroger and the River Styx

Well I've never been so uninjured and uninsulted in my life!! I'm unoffended! But just to set the record straight, my inspirational quotes are inspirational and not cheesy in the least bit! I'd have to say more like sour cream... But I think you've given me food for thought... cheese and sour cream... might as well make some bean and cheese dip out of that... And for the rest of that record that I was setting straight because you made it crooked, I don't owe you cereal. I am actually a serial eater! I eat all kinds of cereal all the time! And the milk cops are after me... serial cereal eater.... Ya see, once I start thinking this way, I know I've had too little sleep... last night I dreamt that no less than 7 of my friends had died in a car crash! What caused such a horrendous accident you ask? A puddle in the Kroger parking lot... I always knew that place was second only to the fiery depths of hell!!! Darn you Kroger! Darn you to Heck!

Can anyone tell me why and how theres a river in the underworld? Its supposed to be burning and all down there and SOMEHOW theres just this crazy river named Styx. And how is there fire? Is there so much oxygen in the underworld that an eternal fire of damnation can just casually smolder- I mean BURN PEOPLE TO CRISPS under the surface of the earth? I know why Global Warming is happening.. its not SUV's and people who smoke until their lungs fall out of their noses! Its Satan himself! I wonder how much coal he uses... he probably uses up all of Santa's coal too which causes more greed because Santa is forced to give the naughty children things other than coal.. such as chopped wood covered in baking soda and grapes with little toothpick umbrellas in them! Those greedy children... Probably all in Slytherin too! And the kids that get things like LCHS hoagies and half of a matchbox are probably sent straight to Hufflepuff... poor Hufflepufflers.. They never get mentioned anymore.. thats probably because of the Chudley Canons! Anybody who's anybody knows who the Chudley Canons are... they're probably the most famous Qudditch team in the World! every time I see the name "Chudley Canons" I think of obese men in their mid-forties flying around on shabby broomsticks (If you can even call them that) holding pistols from the 1400s... No wonder they've never made it to the World Cup...

err... umm...nomnomnomnomnomnom..... um...nom......uhhhhhhhhhh....... *looks up inspirational quotes*
Screw that.. just watch this okay? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RP4abiHdQpc
Makes my day... Every time :)

Dan the Man

Got Cereal? A post by Dan... Westman....

So I guess Dan got a little tired of me pestering him all the time...
"Hey Dan, have you blogged yet today?"
"Has anything blog-worthy happened to you lately?"
"I notice it has been 32 hours, 17 minutes and 42, 43, 44 seconds since your last post!"

Anyway, somehow I got stuck with his job..he's too lazy to write on HIS OWN BLOG!? Jeez..well I will do it with gusto! Mucho gusto!!

You know the 'got milk?' thing? Well I'm tired of those shirts that replace milk with other things!! I hate them!  Really! Who wants a T shirt that says 'got science?' ?? Dan, obviously! You know maybe if it said 'got sarcasm?' I would wear it.  Wow, that would be a really cool T shirt! I mean, yeah I got sarcasm! so maybe those shirts aren’t so stupid..nope. I still hate them. Unless I'm wearing them..so basically i hate when people other than myself wear 'got___?' T shirts because I'm actually jealous of them.

AAH!! we have no good cereals in my house! good as in tasty! Fiber Cardboard Plus does not qualify as good cereal! neither does Honey Wheat Bran Protein Raisin Horse Food Crunch!! I need real food like Lucky Charms, Froot Loops, Reese's Puffs, Cookie Crisp, and Apple Jacks!! By the way Dan, you still owe me some Reese's puffs.

Well I should be getting to bed, but before I sign off…..YES! Its cheesy inspirational quote time! Too bad. They’re stupid, Dan, childish and stupid.

Adios!

Dan (not the man!)

Driving off a Cliff

So its fall break... and so far, all I've done has been falling and breaking things! Like my hammer.. and several other things that I'd rather not mention.. But really! Fall BREAK? I thought it was Autumn... Autumn is when trees turn beautiful colors and football players beat the snot outta each other and I think of other poetic things to say.. But its not Autumnun.. its FALL BREAK! So thats when trees fall and nobody hears it except the 70+ year old women that have miraculously good hearing and it kinda freaks me out.. and Fall Break is also the time where theres a lot of mud and people in stupid costumes like baseball caps with sneakers. BUT there are some pretty great new TV shows that are on this year! Like that one... I forget! But hey! Whats not to love, right? I like love! Love is great! Especially from your parents who come home after Parent-Teacher night and demand to know what you're doing in class that makes you learn so little but somehow maintain good grades...

For the record, I'm starting a band and I'm looking for someone that can help us think up a really good name! Because I've tried millions of different names for my "hypothetical" (at the time) band and none of them were very good at all! So your feedback is accepted/valued/required! So we just recently found a drummer and we're ready to play some beautiful music and have a lot of fun! But the fun is more important than the melodious aspects... because we're a highschool garage (or rundown, abandoned voting booth) band! And nobody really cares how it sounds as long is its loud and causes an uproar and possibly a minor riot, which is always the best part!!

I wanna go skydiving but I'm too afraid of heights... what should I do? Maybe if I became a pilot I could fly my own little plane and bungie jump out of it every once and a while! Then fly back to the ground! I shall achieve my dreams one day...

I also just found out there was such a thing as hands-free toilet cleaning... S.C. Johnson... Thats insane! I never knew that was possible!! And so is instant skin-smoothing by Loreal! LO! REALLY!! As you can probably tell, I'm sitting here extremely bored and watching TV.. sorry for not giving you my full and undivided attention, my attention is usually divided... sliced and diced and whatnot! My dad is getting home really late tonight as well and he will be here any moment now so I must finish this post so that he can have my slightly-less-diced attention!

Thank you for being avid readers and never giving up hope that there might, one day, be another post!
Dan the Man

Saint Pheobe: An example of an overly bad essay

Saint Phoebe was a Roman woman who was mentioned by Paul in his letters to the Romans, Romans: 16:1. She lived during the first century AD and helped deliver Paul’s Epistle to the Roman Christian church. Her feast day is September 3^rd. Phoebe is not a Patron saint of anything.

There is very little information on Saint Phoebe other than that she was a follower of Christ and Saint Paul. She helped spread the information Paul’s letters to the Romans. I am going to give up on this project because I don't care enough to write more. Instead of doing a high-quality report on someone that could've worked in a friggin first-century food pantry, I think I'll just slaughter the rest of this paper on the internet!

Saint Phoebe is not a Patron saint of anything so there is really no reason to write a report on her other than to make my religion teacher happy. Well too bad Mrs Religion teacher, you don't matter enough for me to want to write a paper for you about someone who was mentioned ONCE in the Bible. That is not enough information. Maybe she was a cook and she gave Paul a piece of bread and some pasta. But hopefully not too much pasta for one guy because that would be too much pasta for one guy! He might've put that pasta into a bowl that never got empty! Then he could've solved the food crisis everywhere.

Once upon a time there was a woman named Saint Phoebe. No one knows what she did. And I think the only person who cares, could be you Mrs. Religion teacher. But once again, you don't matter enough for me to write an excellent paper about St. Phoebe. Maybe her friends called her Phebes. I'd call her that! What  about Phob? Thats a perfectly feminine name! I think it fits with he character quite nicely to be honest. But sadly I can't be honest about that. I just lied two sentences ago because I don't actually know anything whatsoever about St. Phoebe's character. I don't know if she even had a character! What if Paul got her name wrong? How would you like to be in the Bible or another famous publication but the writer got your name wrong so no one knows anything about you except for the fact that you graciously helped the writer and other folks.

In conclusion, this is the worst paper I have written since I was in fourth grade. One of those reasons is because I could not find any information on the subject. Another reason is because I started the conclusion paragraph with the words "In conclusion..."(Dantheblanksblog.blogspot.com). Another reason this paper sucks is because I don't feel like writing a Works Cited page so I'll just tell you I looked at 50 different websites and every last one of them said the exact same thing except for Dantheblanksblog.blogspot.com which had very structured sentences and lots of sarcasm that may or may not have made anyone's day today.

Hope you liked my essay.. I wish I could turn off the indent... Darn you left indent!! Darn you to Heck!

Dan the Man

< It's still there

It won't go away no matter how hard I try..

Too much starch!

Well I haven't written anything in... way too long! I apologize profusely and maybe I'll throw some cash at a random person tomorrow or Monday to make up for it. So be on the lookout for flying Benjamins..
While trying to slack-off and not read the allotted chapters of The Scarlet Letter for tonight, I ended up slacking- off MORE than I anticipated and ran across this article that made me chuckle softly to myself.
http://community.sparknotes.com/2011/09/28/im-not-joining-pottermore
I love people who rant... They are my people!
"Too much pasta for one kid..."
Anyway! Now I'm sitting here with a half-broken pinky (Megan, I need your brace...) trying to type my first blog entry in "way too long!" which actually isn't as hard as I expected it to be..
You may be wondering why my pinky is half-broken and also why I mentioned pasta...



Well forget the pasta... As for my pinky, I played a football game tonight vs. Boyle Co. and CRUSHED THEM!!!!!!!!!!  33-27 lets go LC!
And don't forget the JV soccer team! Way to go sockuh squahd! A 3-2 win!! ALSO over Boyle Co.!

I'm going to go to bed now because it's nearly 11:30 and I have no more to say for the knight! (get it? Knight??)

"Music and singing have been my refuge and music and singing shall be my life"

Dan the Man

PS Its good to be back! ;)

Alright already..

So today I felt extra conceited so I decided to look up "Dan Sedlacek" online... It came up with: A formspring account that I haven't used in over 6 months because its too much gossip and people are complete jerks on there. I also found a Soundcloud account that I also haven't touched since the week I got it, which is sad because there is some REALLY cool music on that website, I suggest you check it out! Next on my list was, of course, my twitter account which is probably one of the most useless things I have ever done on the internet.. right up there with formspring. But the two things I really wanted to find were this blog and my facebook page... Neither were anywhere to be found! I went through the first four pages and not a trace of my own blog! What a preposterous situation! Oh well, the less information people can easily access, the longer I'll last when the aliens start coming... out of their water towers...

Sorry for not blogging yesterday! I was too tired and cranky and there was nothing even remotely funny to say. I couldn't even change channels because it was so remote!

I finished The Hunger Games!! OH MY OOOSH ... That book was freakin amazing! All kindsa things happened and then there were animals with eyes and lots of fire and crazy arrows flyin everywhere and one almost went up my nose! wow.. beastly book! I recommend it to anyone who likes adventure books, any kind of fiction, Harry Potter or the Inheritance series (Eragon) so enjoy if you haven't already read it! On to book two because I want to read it too. (notice there were 3 2s...)

April is in my mistress' face, but in her heart a cold December (awesome song by the way)
Dan the Man

Elusive illusion...

I'm the kind of person who opens up a new can of worms every time I open my mouth, which, quite honestly, is an impressive talent! For example I could potentially be sued every time I mention the word "Hufflepuff" by JK Rowling (on the floor laughing) herself! So that is why, effective immediately, I will now be referring to them only as "The Deranged Cotton Ball House."

Another of my many talents is derailing trains.. of thought. Say, for example, that I am talking with someone about trains and I said, for example, "What if the train goes off the tracks?" Well now the person I'm talking to has to SWITCH TRACKS so that we're BACK ON TRACK and can, once again, resume talking about trains!

I have managed to elude my homework all weekend and am quite proud of myself! Although there wasn't any homework to avoid in the first place because I was so on top of my game on Friday that I finished it all without breaking a sweat! And believe me, not breaking a sweat doing something strenuous is quite an accomplishment for me! I'm beginning to perspire at this very moment just from writing about perspiration! What a wonderful world! Also the Air Conditioning is broken... that could be a good reason why its so hot in here! Most likely the dog's fault.. crazy dog! Always with the destroying of perfectly good electronics... gnawing through my favorite shirts the day before the big dance nights... oh how I miss that blue and white checkered shirt...

You're all probably wondering what its like to be an amazing writer. What it feels like to pack every line full to the brim with emotion and satire and mystery. How a writer doesn't go insane trying to find things to write about that will entertain his or her readers! Well let me tell you folks... Don't ask me! I just write down the funniest things that come to mind when I'm sleep deprived late at night sitting in bed eating saltine crackers. Thats the life right there...

Well there you go! I can't squeeze anything else out of my over-exhausted brain tonight! So in parting I will say
"May the odds ever be in your favor."
Dan the Man

Saturday morning cartoons

My loving father woke me up this morning because the circuit in the kitchen went out so I had to go to the garage and fix it.. Fun right? Not... I stood down there for 10 minutes flipping switches like a madman until he finally decided to tell me the toaster worked... but the bathroom lights had gone out. Ah how I love my 40-something year-old house..

So when I finally came back upstairs, the dog wanted to go out and she has trouble with the stairs because she's old. You'll never guess what she did in the basement... she made a puddle for me to clean up then pranced outside to lay in the sunshine. Crazy dog.. Now she's sleeping in a blanket. Cute dog!

Well Theresa wants to be mentioned in today's blog post and honestly.. she deserves it! Somehow a giant gust of bad luck tossed her over a railing and scraped her up pretty bad! So pray for her... phone... cus it got smashed..

Just read another few chapters of The Hunger Games! Its pretty entertaining really. In one chapter they set like 5 different things on fire!! Its like a pyromaniac's dream story! But what I'm really excited for is the battle.. lots of action and burning things! Oh man when the movie comes out I'll be all over it! Apparently several of the actors are from Kentucky!! How exciting!

And I just won a new car in the mail but I don't want it because I'm pretty sure they're lying to me. So if anyone wants a new 2011 Jeep, let me know and I'll give you my mail! Just kidding, that would be illegal probably.. But its the thought that counts right?

If anybody wants to hang out this weekend, I'm free on Sunday.. and lonely because I'll probably be stuck at home doing chores that I wouldn't have otherwise. Is it just me or do parents just give us chores sometimes JUST because we seem to be enjoying just relaxing? Because my parents give me the strangest things to do.. such as "Hey Daniel go put this wooden board in the bathtub with some wet paper towels on it!" "Okay mom, whatever you say.." And somehow my parents lose things in the strangest ways! My dad lost his socks because the washing machine at them! My mom lost her phone at church. They both lost their minds quite a while ago but nobody knows where!!!! And the search continues....

Thats all I've got for today! Come to the nerd side, we have Pi
Dan the Man

On a scale from 1 to Pirates of the Caribbean, how dramatic was your day?

Well its 11:35 now and I just got home from an awesome showdown between the Knights and L'ville Male... Guess who won! WE DID!! 34-26 baby! I feel like a real man today because I keep finding bits of turf in my hair.. I slid on my head!

On to other news, Sydney and I are writing a seriously awesome song but we probably won't have time to record it because we never see each other! Joy! Also, is it just me or does anyone else always mix up Rihanna's part in "love the way you lie"?? I'll be humming along and then all of a sudden HERE COMES THE CHORUS!!! So I try to sing it but it ends up that I always (seriously every time) sing the Burn/Hurts line instead of the Cry/Lie part... unfailingly...

So right now Megan is reading my blog and telling me about it at the same time while unipencorn (caitlin) pokes her in the face. Made MY night! better... (she isn't ill anymore)

If you haven't already watched every one of my youtube videos, then you're in luck! Because you haven't wasted over 2 hours of your life on random idiocy.. Auspicious you! If you have watched them however, I applaud your bravery and you deserve a medal for putting up with that!

I've been trying to think up a new invention and I think I've finally got it! A flying mechanism for pigs.. not because i want all those things that are supposed to happen "When pigs fly" but because... seriously, how epic would that be? Its like a freakin cherub only pink and squealing! High flyin' swine...

Well thats all for tonight!
Dan the Man

Because I couldn't sleep without my Hufflepuff humor..

I may have to retire the Hufflepuff jokes due to the large amount of hate mail I am receiving from the Hufflepuffans.. Hufflerpuffers.. Hufflepuffleianers…. Hufflepoofs.. Anyhow, they’re tired of being made fun of because of their inability to digest lactose so I don’t know if I’ll be allowed to make fun of Hufflepuffleses any more..

JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!! Bring on the Hufflepuff jokes!!!! I mean seriously! What kind of name is Hufflepuff? Is that slang for over-exhausted cotton balls? Or is there a deeper meaning? I’m interested to hear your input so comment and message me what you have to say!!

Go Chudley Cannons!

Dan the Man

Just Another Rainy Thursday

The rain and cold in Kentucky is killin me.. My favorite season is autumn but.. we don't have that here. I love the beautiful colors of the trees and watching the leaves fall around me and the smell of the world getting ready for winter. Don't forget Halloween! Halloween was never my favorite holiday, I mean getting candy from strangers is great and all but, really they're just mean people who sit there trying to scare you out of your wits so you won't take their candy. And then if you don't get scared (because you're obviously too old to be trick-or-treating), they just give you cavity makers! Now don't get me wrong, I love candy and I also love giving candy to other people but.. the cranky old people drive me insane!
One year when I was younger, I went trick-or-treating with my friends in my neighborhood. Screams kept coming from down the street so my friends and I went to the house they were coming from. We found decorations EVERYWHERE... We went up to the door to find a note saying "Tricked ya! Happy Halloween" and not a single piece of candy. That year was horrible. (but no cavities luckily)

I apologize to you, my adoring public, for being so boring tonight but honestly I didn't have a very exciting day today! Other than singing an entire piece in the wrong key in choir class and acting like a neanderthal at football practice, nothing really happened.

Hmm... well since the topic of Hufflepuff seems to cause laughter in every remote corner of the Earth, I might as well mention that I'm PRAYING that I won't get sorted into Hufflepuff if I ever end up joining "Pottermore"
But seriously.. "what the hell is a Hufflepuff?"

Shout out to my palindromic amigo ASA. He probably won't read this post until I tell him that his name was mentioned riiighhttt there ^  (If that actually lines up on the page, I'll be overjoyed)

I make jewelry as a part time hobby so if you want a necklace, earrings, a bracelet or something similar, let me know and I'll see if I can't hook you up! Speaking of jewelry, My favorite Korean photographer is currently in the process of taking artistic pictures of some of my necklaces SO those will be uploaded to the facebook page www.Facebook.com/jopaljewelry and will also be on here if thats possible..

I'm thinking of doing a random video Thursday or something like that.. As always, feedback is greatly appreciated! At the moment I am listening to an "Epic Rap Battle of History" between Stephen Hawking and Albert Einstein.. pretty freakin funny.. haha http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zn7-fVtT16k
And just to go along with the recurring theme of Harry Potter, here is a WIZARD Rap Battle: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTHn5oFPmi8&feature=related

Lets see... I ate some more peanut m&m's.. that made me happy... Mr Quigley mentioned something about a bad math problem today.. and that he didn't want it to live in his neighborhood..
Again, sorry for the lack of comedy tonight, just wasn't feelin it...

di di.... diddle de diddle de di

Dan the Man

Average Birthday... right?

I have homework coming out of my ears... Auspicious me! Obviously some of that homework is defining vocabulary words. So in choir class today our teacher Mr. B started to sing and play happy birthday on the piano.. It went a little something like "Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear ELLLIIOO- wait it IS your birthday today, right Elliot?" "Yeah of course! Why wold I lie about that??" "Okay! Elliot! Happy Birthday to you!!"
That made me chuckle this afternoon but none of you (readers) will probably laugh at that.. along with the reoccurring Hufflepuff jokes...

Anyhow, I started this post at like 6:00 and it is now 9:30 because I finished the homework that was mysteriously coming out of my pores so that I'd have time to address my adoring public tonight! Hello adoring public :)

Also today Sydney fell over backwards and I had to mention it... oh gravity, you make my life a circus... how I love your omnipresence... (how poetic!)

As for trying new things (such as blogging to my heart's content), I have decided to start reading The Hunger Games at the suggestion of my mother, my girlfriend, my girlfriend's mother, my girlfriend's sister, my lunch companions and the back cover of the book. So far I have read 5 chapters and I'm to the part where people start ripping hair of off the main character.. trust me, its painful.

I have also attempted to learn a new language called "Esperanto" which means Hope.. its not very difficult but I haven't had enough time to fully commit to learning it. For anyone interested, here is a link to the United States Esperanto page.. thing.. I'm not sure what to call it other than: http://www.esperanto-usa.org/
That sums it up nicely..

In other news, I DON'T absolutely hate The Scarlet Letter yet.. the key word here is  "Yet". Meaning.. something.. I forget what I was gonna say.. anyway! I haven't fallen asleep so far.. (Kudos to you Dan!) 
"Good for you Glen Coco, You GO Glen Coco!"


So before I end the night, I still have to restring one of my most favorite necklaces for which I do not yet (theres that word again...) have a name. So I will add a picture of it as soon as my favorite Korean photographer supplies me with one and I will take any name suggestions! thanks!

In closing: I am eating Peanut m&m's and I am in heaven for the moment. And if I left something something out, such as mentioning your name if it happens to be a palindrome, I am very sorry and I'll make sure to attempt comedy associated with you!
"Goodnight to all, and to all a good night!" (enough with the Santa jokes..?)

Dan the Man

Back to the Rat Race

School... That just took me 5 minutes to think up. Be proud! This morning I woke up 10 minutes early and got so excited about having a few more minutes to sleep that I couldn't calm down enough to fall back asleep.

Kroger-brand frozen waffles are the worst breakfast I have ever been forced to eat.. sadly we have an entire box and my parents are convinced that the "Whole Grain" waffles are good for me.

I got to school late and practically had to run laps around the school to get everything I needed to be able to get a good start to the school day. Somehow I forgot a pencil. Bravo Dan, good job... Homeroom was peaceful, until our house reps came in ranting about how we are in last place out of all the homerooms for Hoagie sales. Who honestly wants to buy a "Hoagie" for tree fitty from a kid who says "I'm in Bonaventure! Support meee!"?(insert joke comparing Hufflepuff to of Bonaventure house)

Today I nearly dropped a delicious muffin because I was laughing about Hufflepuff. I mean SERIOUSLY those kids need to get it together!! They're just like "Who's got 2 thumbs and is a Hufflepuff? I'm a Hufflepuff! *points to self*" and "I can't digest lactose and I'm a Hufflepuff!"
Ya know what? Just watch the video.. I'm sure all 3 or 4 of you currently following this blog have already seen the video.. but hey! why not just one more laugh?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0Z5_wipT2o

I have to finish construction on another decorative neck wrapper.. I mean a necklace.. So I hope I haven't made too many typhoons. or is it typos..? tiepoes...?
So I leave you with one serious thought and you'll be rid of me once again! Until I decide to write more..
"If music be the food of love, sing on."
Dan the Man

Previously on "Dan's Life"...

Well school has been in session for... 2 weeks or something?? I'm already drowning in boredom! luckily theres not much homework this year. YET. I've heard from so many people that "Sophomore year is the hardest" Well I'm praying that its not.. cus why would anybody want THIS year to be the hardest? Why not just keep putting that off for next year like those sloppily-constructed New Years Resolutions? Ha! The other day I was given an assignment for Geography. Part of the assignment was to name 7 rivers. I thought that was easy enough!! I soon found it to be fairly amusing...
1. Styx
2. Gumdrop river
3. The one everyone crosses over to get to Grandmother's house
4. Amazon (the one that ships all over the place)
5. Here's where the bell rang and I left class with a headache from trying so hard to find other made-up rivers.
6. If anybody knows of any other fantastical rivers PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!
7. Because seriously, it'd be pretty funny to turn that assignment in to my teacher with 7 fake rivers on it! haha

Anyway last week was pretty great! I made a necklace (strung beads on a string long enough to fit around someone's neck), the football team won their game with 14 seconds left in the 4th quarter (pretty awesome even though I had nothing to do with it), and lastly, this weekend I got to hang out with my gorgeous girlfriend of whom you will probably hear me speak (sorta) very often because she's just so great!

So thats my rant for now. You're lucky its over so soon! I'll try to keep up with the blog for awhile if I can. Seems fun so far! :)
Dan the man

Learnin the ropes

So.. My name is Dan! I do a whole lotta.. not so interesting things. But I feel like telling the world about my oh-so-boring escapades! So get ready for spine-tingling, mind-numbing stories of an "average" high school (here's a long list) guy, football player, amateur jewler, guitarist, singer, boyfriend, avid Black Forest gummy bear eater, distributor of Famous Amos cookies and Jolly Ranchers, and the most boring of all: student.
Enjoy! And I hope to get some feedback someday in the future... maybe?
Dan the Man