I'm the kind of person who opens up a new can of worms every time I open my mouth, which, quite honestly, is an impressive talent! For example I could potentially be sued every time I mention the word "Hufflepuff" by JK Rowling (on the floor laughing) herself! So that is why, effective immediately, I will now be referring to them only as "The Deranged Cotton Ball House."
Another of my many talents is derailing trains.. of thought. Say, for example, that I am talking with someone about trains and I said, for example, "What if the train goes off the tracks?" Well now the person I'm talking to has to SWITCH TRACKS so that we're BACK ON TRACK and can, once again, resume talking about trains!
I have managed to elude my homework all weekend and am quite proud of myself! Although there wasn't any homework to avoid in the first place because I was so on top of my game on Friday that I finished it all without breaking a sweat! And believe me, not breaking a sweat doing something strenuous is quite an accomplishment for me! I'm beginning to perspire at this very moment just from writing about perspiration! What a wonderful world! Also the Air Conditioning is broken... that could be a good reason why its so hot in here! Most likely the dog's fault.. crazy dog! Always with the destroying of perfectly good electronics... gnawing through my favorite shirts the day before the big dance nights... oh how I miss that blue and white checkered shirt...
You're all probably wondering what its like to be an amazing writer. What it feels like to pack every line full to the brim with emotion and satire and mystery. How a writer doesn't go insane trying to find things to write about that will entertain his or her readers! Well let me tell you folks... Don't ask me! I just write down the funniest things that come to mind when I'm sleep deprived late at night sitting in bed eating saltine crackers. Thats the life right there...
Well there you go! I can't squeeze anything else out of my over-exhausted brain tonight! So in parting I will say
"May the odds ever be in your favor."
Dan the Man
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